Separation Anxiety: Tips for a Smooth Nursery Transition

It’s not just your child who feels the tug at the heart when it’s time to say goodbye—you do too. Starting a nursery is a big step for both of you. It marks the beginning of a new chapter filled with learning, laughter, and independence. But with that comes the challenge of separation anxiety.

This anxiety is common and entirely normal. In fact, it affects nearly 50% of toddlers during major transitions like starting nursery (NHS). The good news? With the right approach, you can help your little one feel safe, secure, and confident in their new environment.

Let’s explore practical and effective tips for a smooth nursery transition that work for families of all kinds.

Understand what separation anxiety really means

Separation anxiety isn’t just fussiness. It’s your child’s way of expressing uncertainty when you’re not nearby. Children thrive on routine, comfort, and familiarity. When they step into nursery—an unfamiliar place with new faces—it’s natural for them to feel unsettled.

Key signs to watch:

• Clinginess at drop-off
• Crying, tantrums, or refusal to go in
• Sleep disturbances or changes in eating

Knowing what’s behind these behaviours helps you respond with patience and empathy.

Start preparing early—before day one

Smooth transitions begin at home. You don’t need to wait until the first day of nursery to introduce the idea. Use these gentle steps to start preparing child for daycare:

1. Talk about nursery often

Use positive language. Mention the fun activities, new toys, and kind teachers. Keep it simple but exciting.

2. Visit the nursery together

Let your child explore the space with you. Seeing the environment beforehand reduces fear of the unknown.

3. Read books about starting nursery

Stories help children understand and relate. Choose ones that show nursery in a fun, reassuring way.

This stage forms the foundation of successful childcare transition tips and builds trust between you and your child.

Build confidence through routine

Routine offers comfort. In the weeks leading up to nursery, set up a consistent morning schedule. This includes:

• Waking up at the same time daily
• Getting dressed and having breakfast together
• Practising a “mini goodbye” (e.g., leaving them with a family member for a short time)

Small routines like these help them feel secure and ready.

The first day: Keep it calm, short, and sweet

Your child looks to you for emotional cues. If you’re anxious, they will be too.

Your first day at nursery checklist should include:

• A calm morning with no rush
• Familiar items (like a favourite toy or blanket)
• A confident goodbye (don’t sneak away)
• Reassurance that you’ll return soon

It’s okay if there are tears. Most children settle within 10 to 15 minutes after their parents leave.

Support doesn’t end at drop-off

Supporting your child during nursery start means checking in with the nursery team. Ask how your child did during the day. Continue the conversation at home, too. Encourage your child to share their day—even if it’s just one detail.

Celebrate little wins. If they stayed without crying or made a new friend, praise them gently. These small steps build emotional strength.

Starting preschool advice from the experts

According to the Child Mind Institute, practising short separations before nursery starts can significantly ease anxiety (Child Mind). Even 30-minute playdates without you present, can help.

Also, be consistent. Avoid changing nurseries or caregivers frequently. Stability is key to building your child’s confidence.

Why choose Tappy Toes Nursery?

At Tappy Toes Nursery, we understand that every child is unique. Our team creates a warm, nurturing space where children feel loved and supported from day one.

We work hand-in-hand with parents to create tailored transition plans. Our activities are designed to make learning fun, while also supporting emotional development.

Choosing Tappy Toes nursery means choosing a caring, experienced team that puts your child first—every single day.

In a nutshell: Transition with love, patience, and support

Separation anxiety is part of growing up. But with the right tools and mindset, you can guide your child through it confidently.

Use these tips for a smooth nursery transition to ease their worries and help them adjust. From building routines to gentle goodbyes, every step counts.

Stay connected with your child’s feelings, support them with love, and trust the journey. Nursery isn’t just about school—it’s a place where your child begins discovering the world.